What to Say to a Guy That Used You

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Beingness in a relationship is hard work – yet also so rewarding.

Y'all know you lot similar the guy, a lot, but you're starting to take doubts most his intentions.

Whether you've been with him for one year or five years, it's normal for these thoughts to creep in at times in our relationship.

Something just feels…off.

If y'all're wondering whether he is using you, we're here to give y'all the signs you should be looking out for.

If any of them ring true for yous and your relationship, information technology's time to run. Don't walk, run and get yourself out of that toxic relationship.

Why might he be using y'all?

If you lot accept a suspicion that your guy is using you, ane of the first questions you might observe yourself asking is: why?

Why is he using me?

Unfortunately, at that place'southward no direct respond for this one. A guy might exist using you for a whole range of different reasons.

Here are some of the more than common ones:

He'south just in it for sexual activity. Some guys simply don't want a committed relationship simply are quite happy to keep coming back for sex. They might exist chatting to multiple women at once.
He'south after the money. Do yous find yourself paying for him a lot more than than he pays for y'all? And supporting him financially? He might just be in it for the greenbacks heave.
He's later an ego boost. Some guys but like to have a pretty daughter hanging off their artillery. It gives their ego a skillful boost, even if they aren't interested in a relationship.
He'south trying to brand another daughter jealous: this one can sting a niggling. When he's using you to become to another girl and make her jealous of your relationship.

At that place are so many different reasons a guy might exist using you. None are better than the last.

The all-time thing you tin can practice is choice it up early on and go out of that relationship as fast equally possible. You deserve much more than that.

Here are 21 big signs he's using y'all

1) Your telephone only lights up after dark

He's either a vampire who only comes out at nighttime, or he's using you for sex. Texting just at night to encounter upwardly is the classic sign of a booty phone call.

This one is like shooting fish in a barrel to test out. Send him a message request to meet up earlier in the day and meet what he says. You'll have a clear answer straight away.

If he says he's busy or comes upwardly with a number of excuses, take them for exactly what they are: excuses. The elementary fact is, he doesn't desire to see you during the mean solar day. He's after just one thing.

2) He doesn't open up upward to y'all

OK, OK, guys are super talkative by nature (at least most aren't). But if he avoids talking to y'all at all costs, then it's probable because he doesn't want to become shut.

Test information technology past asking him some questions:

Where did you abound upwards?
How many siblings practise you take?
Did you lot all get along growing upward?

Pay attention to his answers. Does he offer one-word answers without going into detail? Does he try and avoid certain topics birthday? Siblings are most equally personal as it gets – if he's avoiding this one, he's avoiding getting close to you.

A simple question nigh what he's getting up to on the weekend could be enough to go him to shut down. Take these are warning signs and run.

3) Desire communication specific to your situation?

While this commodity explores the nigh common signs he's using you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

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I was blown away by how kind, compassionate, and genuinely helpful my jitney was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified human relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

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4) He doesn't inquire about you

At the same fourth dimension, pay attention to how much interest he shows in your own life.

If a guy likes you and wants to be with you, then he'south going to desire to become to know you amend and dive into your personal life.

Recall back to those questions we mentioned in a higher place. Does he enquire about your family? About your siblings? Near your upbringing? Does he even care what you're getting up to on the weekend?

A lack of interest is a big no-no in a relationship.

He'southward likely using you for another reason. Take a step back from the human relationship and then you tin can run across this for yourself.

5) He doesn't protect you

When a human being respects a woman, he'll go out of his way to protect her. Having protective instincts is very natural for a man.

The common ways a man will protect a woman they care virtually include:

When you go somewhere shady or dangerous, he e'er tries to go with you
If someone is talking bad near y'all, he steps up and defends you
If you ever demand help for any reason, he'll e'er lend a hand.

On the flip side, if a man isn't protecting you similar this then he's not committed to your relationship. He's using you.

Still, fifty-fifty if your man isn't protecting you the style he should, there is something you can do about it.

You can trigger his hero instinct.

If yous haven't heard of the hero instinct earlier, it's a new concept in relationship psychology that's generating a lot of buzz at the moment.

What it boils down to is that men have a biological urge to protect the women they desire to be with. They want to step up for her and be appreciated for his actions.

In other words, men want to be an everyday hero.

I know it sounds kind of giddy. In this day and age, women don't demand a "hero" to protect them.

But here's the ironic truth. Men do however need to feel like they are a hero. Because it's built into their DNA to seek out a relationship with a adult female that makes them feel like one.

The best thing is that there are elementary things you tin practise starting today to trigger the hero instinct in the man you care about.

This gratuitous video reveals the texts you can send, phrases you can say, and elementary things you can do to bring out this very natural male instinct.

Click here to lookout man the video.

6) You lot're not going on actual dates

He comes to your firm, you go to him, or yous run across at a bar with mates.

Other than this, there are no actual dates.

He's either using yous for sex or for a show, or a mix of both!

Some guys simply like having a good looking girl hanging off their arm while they are out with friends, merely aren't interested in a relationship.

Think back to the last three times you lot met up with this guy. Could you count any of them every bit an actual date?

If not, it's fourth dimension to go out now. He's using you and has no interest in existence in a relationship.

7) He keeps putting off being "exclusive"

Does this guy avert referring to the two of you as 'boyfriend/girlfriend'? Accept the hint!

Whether y'all've had the conversation, or you're sitting dorsum and waiting for him to commit – it'south a good sign he isn't interested in making this permanent.

If you lot desire to know for sure. Enquire him! If he'south using you then the excuses will start rolling off the tongue:

I desire to take things boring.
I'm simply not ready nonetheless.
I desire to get to know yous better.

This is a guy who is publicly avoiding calling you his girlfriend and is likely merely using you for sexual activity.

viii) He's financially dependent on y'all

You lot similar the guy, and so you're all too willing to fork out some extra dollars here and in that location to cover him.

But those extra dollars plow into much more. You soon observe you lot're the one paying for dinner, drinks and in some cases, he's staying over at yours and relying on you for hire too.

That's not a boyfriend. That's a friend who'due south using you.

Start making him pay his own way. If he's interested in you, he'll stick around.

If he'due south non, he'll disappear fast enough.

nine) You lot've never met his friends

If a guy is into you then he'due south going to want to brag and show you off to his friends.

Family unit tin accept a bit more fourth dimension while he figures out whether or not you're the real deal (relationships can take time), but friends are normally much sooner.

If y'all're yet to meet his friends – try asking him near it. He merely may non have organized annihilation yet.

If the excuses gyre in and he keeps putting you lot off, and so something is up.

At that place's a reason he doesn't want to introduce yous to his friends – and information technology's never commonly a practiced sign of a healthy relationship.

10) He doesn't get out of his style for you

When you're dating a guy, you want him to exist someone who will drib everything if you need him.

Whether yous take a funeral to attend or observe yourself stranded on the side of the road with a apartment tire – is he there?

Would he prove up on your doorstep with a box of tissues and a shoulder to lean on when you lot've had a bad day?

Does he go above and beyond to let you know he'southward there for y'all, no matter what you need?

Naturally, some guys are just amend at this emotional side compared to others, but if your guy is refusing to help you even when you ask for it – something is off.

He simply isn't emotionally invested in you or the relationship.

If you lot desire to nudge your guy in the direction of being there for you lot more, so you demand to trigger his hero instinct.

I mentioned this concept above.

The best affair you can practise is watch this splendid free video from the relationship expert who discovered this concept. He reveals the simple things y'all tin practise starting today.

By post-obit his unproblematic tips, yous'll tap into his protective instincts and the nearly noble aspect of his masculinity. Most importantly, you'll unleash his deepest feelings of attraction towards you lot.

Here'south a link to the video again.

11) He ghosts you

In that location's nothing more frustrating than coming together a guy y'all actually like, getting to know him, then he just disappears out of the blue.

He ghosts y'all.

Doesn't respond to your texts, doesn't respond to your calls. You merely don't hear from him.

That is until he comes itch back a couple of weeks afterward packed full of excuses.

Don't heed to them!

If he is ghosting you and coming back when suits it, it'south because he'due south using you.

He'due south just coming back when he needs or wants something. This guy isn't afraid to hurt your feelings – he's simply thinking near himself in all of this.

Here are some of the common reasons guys pull the ghosting fob:

He's still in a relationship with someone else.
He's on other dates.
He'southward avoiding getting likewise serious.
He prefers spending time with friends.

It all comes down to the fact he'southward using yous. And more than happy to leave you lot in the lurch someday it suits him.

12) He avoids conversations about the future

When you're in a relationship, it's natural to talk well-nigh your future together.

Whether it'due south simply planning a future date, a holiday together downwardly the rail, or where you see yourselves in the adjacent five years.

It'southward a conversation that slips in from time to time.

Sometimes the conversation is much more direct and simply a question of: "Where is this human relationship going?"

If he's avoiding all these conversations, it'due south because he's using you and doesn't want to commit.

If he answers with, "I'g non sure", this is another reddish flag. He's sure, he just doesn't want to tell you the truth. He's using you for sex, coin, etc, and has no long-term plans for your human relationship.

13) He ignores you in bed

When it comes to the bedroom, it takes ii to tango!

That is, unless he is only in it to please himself.

Hither are some questions you need to ask yourself:

Does he always take accuse in the sleeping room?
Does he make an effort to please you?
Does he mix things up to go along it interesting for both of y'all?
Does he intendance whether or non y'all climax?

If the human action is one-sided and then information technology's likely he'due south just using you for sex. He knows what he wants out of it, and isn't wasting any time trying to please you lot at the same time.

Time to send him on his fashion.

14) He avoids seeing you if sex isn't possible

This has to be 1 of the clearest signs that you are simply existence used for sex.

If he won't brand the effort to come up and see you – day or night – unless sex is on the cards, then it's pretty piece of cake to work out what he wants.

Y'all can easily examination this ane likewise. Enquire him out to an result with you. Then tell him that y'all have plans with girlfriends after the issue.

Is he swell to come up and enjoy the event with you? Or does the fact yous accept to run off afterwards and tin can't please him holding him dorsum from saying yes?

You lot'll have your answer directly away!

15) You don't experience special

Sometimes, whether or not a guy is using you tin come up downward to a gut feeling.

Think about how he treats yous – both when y'all're out and about and when you lot're alone.

Is he kind?

Is he considerate?

Does he care what you are thinking or feeling?

Does he want yous to be comfortable and cared for?

These are all signs of a guy who likes you and wants y'all to be happy.

If they're missing from your relationship, and so information technology's worth considering whether he's just using you lot for something else.

Remember, y'all deserve to be treated better. Don't settle for less! You want a guy who goes out of his fashion to make sure yous feel special.

sixteen) He has a bad reputation

We all know the allure that comes with dating the 'bad guy'.

It may seem like fun, only it comes at a price.

If a guy has a bad reputation, information technology's generally for a reason. So think twice before getting into a relationship with him.

If yous practice get for it, know where you stand and take the relationship at confront value.

While it's tempting to recollect you can change him, or that he'll merely have optics for yous, this is rarely the instance.

Bad boys don't modify.

They use people and they become what they want – you'll be no exception.

Before you first dating, enquire your friends and his friends what he's similar as a guy. Go some other opinions on his grapheme then you lot know what yous're getting into.

17) He won't let you nearly his phone

We can all get a little protective of our phones every now and and then. Fifty-fifty if nosotros have nothing to hide.

But if he never lets yous well-nigh his and takes it with him everyone – bath, to get a drinkable… everywhere. It'southward because he doesn't want you to see something.

If he is using to you and lying to you in the process, the way he acts around his telephone is a certain sign.

A loyal guy who isn't using you will be absent about where they leave their telephone. They'll chuck information technology on the couch, go out it on the kitchen bench, or even forget where it is.

A guy who is using you will never leave it out of his sight.

He may accept other girls on the side he is keeping from you, or perchance in another committed relationship.

If your guy always seems to accept his telephone glued to him, something else might be going on.

eighteen) He turns up uninvited

While having your boyfriend turn up on your doorstep isn't a bad thing. If he'south constantly crashing at yours and going in and out as he likes – he just might be taking advantage of you.

Whether he can't afford his own place, doesn't take a job, or was kicked out of home, he shouldn't just assume he can live at yours.

He's using you in this example for stability. A place he tin can crash, without having to pay for it, coming and going as he likes.

If you're happy for him to be there, make sure you lot prepare some boundaries. Recognise what's happening and make it work for both of you lot. Information technology may even mean asking him to fleck in for some hire while he's at that place.

xix) In that location's someone else

It's a sinking feeling when you lot notice you're not the merely one in a relationship. But information technology happens.

There are plenty of scenarios that could exist played out:

He'south got a girlfriend who doesn't put out. Using you on the side for sexual practice.
He's got multiple women at the same fourth dimension and isn't looking to commit.
He's using you to get another woman he's interested in.

At any sign that another woman is involved, information technology's time to run. Zilch good tin come from that.

20) He makes you pay

I know, I know, we live in the modern age. A daughter is allowed to pay her way without it existence suspicious.

This is true! It's absolutely truthful!

Only, occasionally, a guy volition want to treat her. Even if it'southward to some popcorn at the flick, or a uncomplicated coffee while you're out.

If your guy insists on paying your fashion through everything and is never willing to foot the bill, this is a warning sign.

This is a proficient indication he'south treating y'all similar a friend – with benefits.

He'due south not trying to romance yous or win you over.

He's non trying to show you he cares about yous.

He's non treating you with much respect at all.

He's subsequently one thing and one thing only, and he's not willing to pay more than his fair share in order to get information technology.

21) You feel like he is

Only you can pick upwardly on those small, picayune details that make you feel like he'due south using you.

If you remember he's using y'all, and you're not feeling happy in the relationship, then it's time to get out.

Don't waste your time on someone who barely gives you a 2nd thought. Yous deserve so much more!

If you're not feeling comfortable in a relationship and find yourself questioning whether or not he cares, that should be enough to convince you it's not working.

Mr. Right is out there waiting for you. And he doesn't plan on taking advantage of you in the procedure. It's time to move on and detect him.

Hold out for him, because once y'all observe this guy, everything will feel right and you won't find yourself questioning whether or not he'due south using you.

How to modify your relationship for good

Y'all've read through the signs and it'due south clear your human is using you lot.

It's the terminal thing everyone wants to discover most their relationship. But y'all don't have to simply sit back and let him.

You lot have iii choices:

Leave things the way they are (which isn't fair on you).
Go out him.
Trigger his hero instinct.

If you love your human, then your relationship might be ane that's worth salvaging. If that's the instance, information technology'south time to make some changes.

No one deserves to be used in a relationship.

Before in the article, I touched on this concept called the hero instinct.

Information technology might audio like a strange idea to y'all, later all, you may not demand a hero in your life. Merely if yous trigger this instinct in your man and simply brand him experience like he'due south your everyday hero, your human relationship will be changed for the amend.

This free video reveals the texts you tin can send, phrases you can say, and simple things y'all can do to bring out this very natural male instinct.

Once you watch this video, yous will exist able to flip the relationship in your favor.

Your human being wants to protect you. He wants to experience needed and essential in your life. He wants that connection.

By offering information technology to him, and triggering this biological urge of yours, he volition commit to you lot and the days of him using you will be in the by.

Once the hero instinct is triggered, he will fall into the relationship caput first and won't wait back.

Sounds too adept to exist true, correct?

This concept is a relatively knew ane, and if you enquire me, information technology'due south one of the all-time kept secrets of the relationship earth.

And you can brand it happen today.

Click hither to picket the excellent video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific communication on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a human relationship charabanc.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my human relationship. Afterward being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to become it back on track.

If yous oasis't heard of Relationship Hero before, information technology's a site where highly trained human relationship coaches assist people through complicated and hard beloved situations.

In simply a few minutes you tin can connect with a certified relationship coach and go tailor-made communication for your state of affairs.

I was blown away past how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my omnibus was.

Click hither to get started.

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Source: https://hackspirit.com/signs-hes-using-you/